Right now, I am tired but have energy - a paradox most certainly. Since the Autumn Equinox I have been on a high, almost as if the universal force is gushing through me. Late into that night, around the fire, I was philosophizing and releasing non-beneficial parts of my life. The energy buzz continued through the full moon into this week. I have to be honest, grounding is missing. My thoughts have been brimming with the bird's eye view, but I desire to have some focus back. Recently, I have been part of discussions about intention and for many people, their intentions are for specific things. I am very broad and overarching in my purpose - serenity, wildness, truth, and sacredness. I am a believer that the particulars will show themselves when needed so that I may live true to my spirit.
Last weekend, I figured that I better do some grounding and put a little more specificity into what I want. Soaking in the sunshine and wind, I asked what do I want right now? Nothing was the answer. I have become so unattached to the outcomes. I do not want to DO, I want to BE. I then asked what would allow me to be: having a love in my life, to write, and a job teaching about plants (to those that truly wish to know about plants). That was all I got. Thankful for a bit of focus.
Though it is Autumn in this realm of earth, we can be walking in different seasons within our own lives. Winter has been with me for well over two years now. The energy that I am experiencing feels as if the snow has melted and that fresh burst of warm soil has reached within my essence. New beginnings and walking with clouds at my feet. There is still some more releasing happening as Winter fades into Spring, which is one part as to why I am so quiet here. On Sunday, I went through everything - books, crafts, herbs, clothes, kitchenware, papers, etc and am getting rid of lots of "stuff". I always thought that I was pretty good about purging, but oh my. I asked my self when looking at an item if it is necessary to my intentions - does this bring me serenity? does it speak to my wild self? is it true to who i am? is it sacred?
This big of a release cannot be done in one day, therefore I have reserved October as my month of purging - the BIG Spring Clean. The lovely and brilliant Laura Emily is hosting hello, autumn tomorrow - an event of clearing out for sacred space to be cultivated. A physical release will also allow me to be.
Letting go makes room for possibility.
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